Bettyville
When George Hodgman leaves Manhattan
for his hometown of Paris, Missouri, he finds himself—an unlikely caretaker and
near-lethal cook—in a head-on collision with his aging mother, Betty, a woman of
wit and will. Will George lure her into assisted living? When hell freezes over.
He can’t bring himself to force her from the home both treasure—the place where
his father’s voice lingers, the scene of shared jokes, skirmishes, and, behind
the dusty antiques, a rarely acknowledged conflict: Betty, who speaks her mind
but cannot quite reveal her heart, has never really accepted the fact that her
son is gay.
As these two unforgettable characters try to bring their different
worlds together, Hodgman reveals the challenges of Betty’s life and his own
struggle for self-respect, moving readers from their small town—crumbling but
still colorful—to the star-studded corridors of Vanity Fair. Evocative of
The End of Your Life Book Club and The Tender Bar, Hodgman’s
New York Times bestselling debut is both an indelible portrait of a
family and an exquisitely told tale of a prodigal son’s return.
MY REVIEW: "Bettyville", a beautifully-written memoir from
author George Hodgman, will gently break places in your heart, and then it will
tenderly patch them back together with warmth and humor. George Hodgman becomes
the care provider for his elderly mother, Betty, leaving his life in Manhattan
behind and returning to his home town of Paris, Missouri. Having reached the age
of ninety-something by living in her own indomitable manner, Betty will not go
quietly into old-age oblivion. As issues such as dementia, cancer, and
increasing physical frailty creep into the picture, Betty remains a force to be
reckoned with. At the age of ninety-one, she chooses to fight her cancer, and
begins radiation therapy. Throughout all of their rumblings and grumblings while
reconnecting and acclimating to once again living in the same house, it becomes
clear that there is a great love between mother and son. Seeing Betty struggle,
yet refuse to surrender her spirit, leads George to discover his own personal
strengths and gives him the courage to move forward with choices for his future.
My own mother's name was Betty, and while our life situation was quite different
from George and his mother, much of our circumstances were similar. While George
left home and then came back, I stayed with my mother for almost fifty years. My
Betty and I were separated only when she passed away. George and his Betty
remain together. "Bettyville" is keenly-observed, poignant, and written with
great heart. A recommended read for caregivers, but also for those who receive
the care.
Book Copy Gratis Amazon
Vine
Nautilus Book Awards Gold Winner
Praise for Bettyville
“A
remarkable, laugh-out-loud book . . . Rarely has the subject of elder
care produced such droll human comedy, or a heroine quite on the
mettlesome order of Betty Baker Hodgman. For as much as the book works
on several levels (as a meditation on belonging, as a story of growing
up gay and the psychic cost of silence, as metaphor for recovery), it is
the strong-willed Betty who shines through.”—The New York Times
“A lovely memoir . . .You won’t finish this tale dry-eyed.”—People, Book of the Week
“A
gorgeously constructed memoir . . . Hodgman creates an unforgettable
portrait of his mother, Betty—a strong-willed nonagenarian struggling
against the slow-motion breakdown of her mind and body. He evokes her
with wit and tenderness.”—The New York Times Book Review
“Without
a doubt my favorite book of the year. Wise, witty, and heartbreaking . .
. a surprisingly profound and hilarious look at aging, mothers and
sons, fathers and sons, growing up gay and small-town life in America.”—Nathan Lane, “Who Read What: Books of the Year 2015,” The Wall Street Journal
“A humorous, bittersweet account of Hodgman’s caring for his aging, irascible mother.”
—Vanity Fair
“Hodgman
has written what will be seen, even years from now, as the
quintessential book on taking care. . . . His desire to empathize, his
focus on goodness, his search for hope allow him to find the beauty in
the hour of now.”—Chicago Tribune
“An
intimate, heartfelt portrait of a mother and son, each at the crossroads
of life . . . Hodgman’s sharp wit carries the book ever forward.”—Minneapolis Star-Tribune
“A
superb memoir . . . Hodgman is by turns wry, laugh-out-loud funny,
self-deprecating, insecure to the point of near suicide, and an
attentive caregiver despite occasional, understandable resentments. . . .
I have read several hundred American memoirs; I would place Bettyville in the top five.”—Steve Weinberg, Kansas City Star
“In his tender, sardonic, and fearless account of life with Betty—who
has never acknowledged that her son is gay—Hodgman delivers an epic
unfolding of his lifelong search for acceptance and love.”—The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“Hodgman
paints a witty and poignant portrait of a son and his mother
reconciling their differences and learning, among other things, how to
cook, come to grips with caretaking, understand unspoken sexuality, and
treat each other with patience, love, and self-respect. Surely we all
have a beautifully complex and hilarious (if not semi-dysfunctional)
relationships with our mothers, but none of us are likely to commemorate
it with the skill and humor of Hodgman.”—Los Angeles Magazine
“An
exquisitely written memoir about the complicated but deeply genuine
love a son feels for his courageous, headstrong, vulnerable mother in
the twilight of her life. George Hodgman is stunningly clear-eyed and
yet so darned big-hearted. Bettyville is just wonderful.”—Jeannette Walls, author of The Glass Castle
“The idea of a cultured gay man leaving New York City to care for his
aging mother in Paris, Missouri, is already funny, and George Hodgman
reaps that humor with great charm. But then he plunges deep, examining
the warm yet fraught relationship between mother and son with profound
insight and understanding. This book looks outside, too, offering a
moving lament for small-town America. Hodgman tenderly evokes the time
before family farms and small businesses were replaced by meth labs and
Walmarts. Yet he’s not sentimental about that lost world—he knew its
cruelties firsthand. As George and his mother come to terms with one
another at the end of her days, the book begins to shimmer with
something much more rare than love: a boundless, transcendent, and
simple kindness. Bettyville is a beautiful book about the strange plenitude that comes from finally letting go of everything.”
—Alison Bechdel, author of Fun Home
“Bettyville
is a beautifully crafted memoir, rich with humor and wisdom. George
Hodgman has created an unforgettable book about mothers and sons, and
about the challenges that come with growing older and growing up.”—Will Schwalbe, author of The End of Your Life Book Club
“This
is a superior memoir, written in a witty and episodic style, yet at
times it’s heartbreaking . . . filled with a lifetime’s worth of
reflection and story after fascinating story.”
—Library Journal (starred review)
“Hodgman
writes with wit and empathy about all the loss he’s confronted with.
Betty’s poor health is mirrored by the failure of towns like Paris,
whose farms and lumberyards are now Walmarts and meth labs. Coming out
in the age of AIDS, he lost the people he was close to when he had
nowhere else to turn. . . . That doesn’t mean Bettyville is
without humor—far from it. Paris eccentrics (one woman shampoos her hair
in the soda fountain) compete with Hodgman’s colleagues in the office
of Vanity Fair. . . . This is a portrait of a woman in decline,
but still very much alive and committed to getting the lion’s share of
mini-Snickers at every opportunity. When things are left unsaid
between parents and children, it leaves a hurt that can never be
completely repaired, but love and dedication can make those scarred
places into works of art. Bettyville is one such masterpiece.”—BookPage
“The
book is instantly engaging, as Hodgman has a wry sense of humor, one he
uses to keep others at a distance. Yet the book is also devastatingly
touching. Betty is one tough cookie, and she is crumbling. Hodgman as a
young man came out around the same time AIDS did, complicating his
already complicated feelings immeasurably. There’s a lot for Hodgman to
handle, yet he does, despite the urge to give in to his own sadness and
his own former drug addiction. A tender, resolute look at a place,
literal and figurative, baby boomers might find themselves.”—Booklist
“Bettyville
is a gorgeous memoir. I was completely engaged, not just because of
George Hodgman’s great ear and his sense of timing, but because he
delivers Betty to us in such a manner that she steps off the page . I
felt transported to a better place, to a time period and a web of
relationships with which we can all identify, no matter where we grew
up. Beyond the humor and the pathos, the quotidian and the bizarre,
there remain profound lessons about life and love that I will carry
away.”—Abraham Verghese, author of Cutting for Stone
“George Hodgman achieves something stunning with this book—by paying
such deep, loving attention to his mother’s (admittedly colorful) life,
he offers us the chance to pay close attention to our own strange and
beautiful Bettyvilles, which in the end is all we can ask of any art.
This bejeweled pillbox is rich and funny and heartwrenching and might
just you cure you of your ills; if those ills include loneliness or
feeling like you don’t belong—you are not alone.”—Nick Flynn, author of Another Bullshit Night in Suck City
“One of the great benefits of reading memoir is that it offers the
reader more people to love. I love Betty, and I love George Hodgman,
whose beautiful book this is. Read Bettyville. Laugh, weep, and be grateful.”—Abigail Thomas, author of A Three Dog Life
“Bettyville
reminded me of some Homeric legend, complete with treacherous chimeras
and ravenous gorgons, except that it is told with such grace, wit, and
spirited generosity that you hardly sense you are on a fragile bark,
adrift on a perilous sea. This story of a sensitive Midwestern boy
coming to terms with his homosexuality, his drug addiction, his clueless
parents, his all-out war with shame, is nothing short of epic. It
begins as a simple trip home from fast-track Manhattan to Paris,
Missouri, to care for a failing mother, but by the time we are through,
we have descended to an underworld, witnessed a plague, traveled all
nine circles of hell, and emerged exhilarated by the grit and valor of
our remarkable guide. It is, in every sense, a tale about the power of
love.”—Marie Arana, author of American Chica
“With great tenderness, honesty, and a searing, sardonic humor, George
Hodgman has written a love letter to his mother, at once a penance and a
tribute. In doing so, he has given us Betty, a character for the ages.
This is a beautiful, illuminating book.”
—Dani Shapiro, author of Devotion
“When I read the first few pages of Bettyville,
I immediately connected. The detail is poetry and, yes, George Hodgman
tells a story that is all our stories if we grow up different,
struggling not to hurt those we treasure. But what I will most remember
is the human struggle of Betty—the woman at the window, the woman at the
piano, the woman whose desire to help others represents the best of
small-town America. The silence she was taught and the complications of
our parents’ journeys to be there for us, as best they could, is what I
will take away from Bettyville, where she will always reside. Hers is the quiet love that outlasts the distances and lets us survive.”—Richard Blanco, United States inaugural poet, author of The Prince of los Cucuyos: A Miami Childhood
George Hodgman
George Hodgman is a veteran magazine and book editor who has worked at Simon & Schuster,
Vanity Fair, and
Talk magazine. His writing has appeared in
Entertainment Weekly,
Interview,
W, and
Harper’s Bazaar, among other publications. He lives in New York City and Paris, Missouri.
***Sadly, George Hodgman passed away 7-20-2019***
http://georgehodgman.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment